The problem is not the mental health tools

For most people seeking psychotherapy, there are many questions that come up for discussion. But increasingly today, right at the beginning psychotherapists receive this request:

I’d like to find some effective tools and coping strategies to manage … (fill in the slot here: anxiety, overwhelming feelings, depressive thoughts, self harm).

There’s nothing wrong with this: it makes sense to want a problem to go away. We all want to find solutions to our problems, which is why Dr Google exists, as well as us therapists (and doctors). But these requests are at times accompanied by unwarranted self-blame for things that were already tried but didn’t work (‘maybe I didn’t try hard enough‘). Or perhaps the right solution / diagnosis / tool / therapist hasn’t been found yet, an equally painful, dissatisfied feeling.

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