Adolescence is often described as a rollercoaster, with emotions running wild, identities evolving, and confusion reigning supreme. Recently I re-read a classic article by Anna Freud – written all the way back in 1958. It made me wonder: Is there a definitive line between ‘normal’ and ‘pathological’ during these formative years?
Adults involved with adolescents, from our different positions – as parents, carers, therapists, teachers – find ourselves navigating a maze of uncertainty. What is normal? What is pathological? When should we worry and jump into action, and when should we ‘give it time’? Adolescents – as we all did during those years – need space and a degree of independence, so jumping into action and expressing our concern too soon may overwhelm or annoy them. But standing aside while things worsen is also problematic. What to do?
Anna Freud’s voice, from so many years ago, sounds as fresh as if she were writing today. The concept of normality in adolescence, she stresses, is not simple, nor can we define it rigidly. Individual differences and each young person’s unique developmental trajectory matter, as do context and environment. To understand where an adolescent is on their trajectory, we need to get to know them. We need to ask them, and we need to observe.
In 1963, Anna Freud described the concept of “developmental lines,” where she spelled out the typical stages and challenges children and adolescents go through as they grow. But – she underlined – each adolescent will progress along these developmental lines at different rates. And there can be great disparities. What this means in practice is that an adolescent may race through one developmental line and be highly advanced in it (say, in their academic achievement), while following a slower rhythm in another line (say, in their social communication skills).
It is easier said than done, of course, to keep all this in mind and stay with the uncertainty, while a distressing situation is unfolding. This is particularly true if there’s a crisis. When things are going downhill, the immediate need is to know ‘what’s wrong’ and ‘how to fix it’. There may be little mental space to wait and consider nuances.
Here’s what Anna Freud wrote on this, back in 1958, on how to think of this conundrum:
“I take it that it is normal for an adolescent to behave for a considerable length of time in an inconsistent and unpredictable manner; to fight his impulses and to accept them; to ward them off successfully and to be overrun by them; to love his parents and to hate them; to revolt against them and to be dependent on them; to be deeply ashamed to acknowledge his mother before others and, unexpectedly, to desire heart-to-heart talks with her; to thrive on imitation of and identification with others while searching unceasingly for his own identity; to be more idealistic, artistic, generous, and unselfish than he will ever be again, but also the opposite: self-centered, egoistic, calculating. Such fluctuations between extreme opposites would be deemed highly abnormal at any other time of life. At this time they may signify no more than that an adult structure of personality takes a long time to emerge, that the ego of the individual in question does not cease to experiment and is in no hurry to close down on possibilities…
While an adolescent remains inconsistent and unpredictable in his behavior, he may suffer, but he does not seem to me to be in need of treatment. I think that he should be given time and scope to work out his own solution. Rather, it may be his parents who need help and guidance so as to be able to bear with him. There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.”